
heres a rough thing for the second ad. i thought about bringing in the first color tv and since it is an old product, it will be presented in a new, modern way.
On Jan 13th, 1692 GoodyBabs posted:
Hi Guys,
So I’m finally starting a blog to document my life in Salem because, apparently, Tituba is the opium-ist friend ever and has totally set me up with the glowing rectangular box of the magi. Don’t want to be the last of the Salem girls to be on here especially since I know all of you guys are talking filth behind my back. By the way, ANN! By the time you read this today I’m probably going to be getting switched by my mom because of that stupid stunt you pulled with Rebecca Nurses cows. When I see you at services you had better fess up or may god strike you dead. Tee hee, I’ve only been on here for twenty minutes and I’m already throwing curses around.. Guess I’m officially a member of the Tituba Web.
How do I post pictures on here?
The humorous possibilities of inserting modern technology has probably had pop traction as early as the Flintstones. The previous blog entry posted by GoodyBabs, a young girl in 17th century Salem, MA, does not bring much to the world of historical satire except for more bogus appropriations of period dialect that the writer knows nothing about. I had briefly thought about thoroughly researching puritan speech patterns but instead I was hijacked for several hours by YouTube and the like. In the context of a paper examining the impact of online culture on our lives, having the quality of my paper directly impacted by its subject matter seems authentic so I won’t fret over gaps in my understanding of 17th century Salem. The Salem Witch trials is the setting I have selected because I think it will be easy. After all, what’s to grasp? A small puritan town falls victim to mass hysteria, jealousy, and a possible hallucinogenic contaminate in their food. For all intents and purpose, the memories of college life provide enough fodder to re-imagine the regrettable tiffs between neighbors in Salem. The Internet and social networking shouldn’t be difficult to add either for as several of my quoted news stories imply, pettiness and rumors are potentially harmful no matter what context they’re found in. Certainly, we use the Internet in the same incriminating manner that the Salem girls used their pointer finger.. An appreciation for strife among friends fueled by and vented through online social networking is all we need to appreciate, what I hope, will be thoughtful examination of this not terribly original ‘what if’ scenario: What would happen if the girls of Salem MA back in 1692 were not just riling up mass hysteria but also blogging, facebooking and youtubing about it.
To get things going, the following report posted on gothamist.com, May 5, 2009 is an example of humanities smooth translation of washroom gossip to online gossip. It is an unfortunate real life example of how fluidly the basic human impulses jealousy and violence adapt to the new conventions of online networking. The headline reads ‘My Space Rumors, Jealousy Allegedly Led to S.I. Woman’s Murder’:
Police have arrested a man suspected of fatally strangling Caroline Wimmer in her Staten Island apartment back in March. Calvin Lawson was charged with murder and while police didn't not disclose a motive, Wimmer's parents told the Staten Island Advance that their daughter was killed due to rumors on MySpace: The victim's mother Martha (Marti) Wimmer "said investigators believe a female enemy of her daughter's used the social networking site to suggest to another girl that Lawson had been cheating on her with Ms. Wimmer."
Wimmer's parents had found their daughter's dead body after not hearing from her for a few days. The 26-year-old had been beaten and strangled with a hair dryer cord. Lawson had allegedly gone to Wimmer's West Brighton apartment to confront her, but then snapped. Lawson, when being led from the precinct, told reporters, "I don't have anything to say. I told them who did it already." Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said that Lawson confessed, with his written confession reading, "I choked the victim accidentally. I didn't mean for this to happen and I'm truly sorry."
Marti Wimmer told the Advance that her daughter and Lawson were never involved. She added, "My daughter lost her life over a lie. It was over nothing. I want him to rot in jail for the rest of his life. If I have to live to 100 to go to parole hearings so he never walks out of jail, I will."
Several questions come up. The rumors being spread by the murdered woman’s adversaries were probably no different than the sort that had been relegated to the turn of the century laundry rooms so long ago. But the question that seems to stand out the most prominently is the question that asks: “did the internet context in which these rumors were spread bring about the severity of the outcome.” Had this gossip occurred at a bingo hall, would the S.I woman have been murdered? Was the public nature of the online gossip the straw that broke the camel’s back? Was the heinous rumor against the man who perpetrated the murder made so public, so accessible, and therefore so completely slanderous that murder was the end result? The mother’s grief stricken insistence that her daughter ‘lost her life over a lie’ is tragically evocative of any story that deals with the fatal outcomes of false accusations and misunderstandings.
Megan Meier, a lonely 13-year-old girl, met an equally tragic fate. The case paints a familiar picture of a victim being bullied and conspired against by real life players who could just as easily be recast as characters in Tina Fey's ‘Mean Girls’ or Arthur Miller's ‘The Crucible’. On May 16, 2008, the New York Times reported:
Megan Meier, 13, began receiving nasty messages from a boy after a few weeks of an online flirtation with him, via her MySpace account, ending with one that suggested, “the world would be a better place” without her. Megan, believing she had been rejected by "Josh," committed suicide in her home.
Six weeks after Megan’s death, her parents learned that "Josh Evans" never existed. He was an online character created by Lori Drew, then 47, who lived four houses down the street. Because Ms. Drew, the mother of one of Megan's former friends, had taken Megan on family vacations, she knew the girl had been prescribed antidepression medication, Mrs. Meier said, and that she had a Myspace page.
On Feb 2 AbbeyBabbey11 posted:
Okay you ugly apple cramming ruddy-eyed backhoes! Here’s the root of it: No one is to hang out with Tituba anymore until she stops acting weird. Like, I know it was cool that she was hooking us up with the cool stories and wireless modems, but yesterday she wasn’t any fun and she was trying to make me feel bad about not having done the solstice thing with her. My mom told me that Goody Parris said that Tituba isn’t even doing good housework anymore. COME ON! Can you believe THAT! Like, all of us do housework!!! So, without further adieu, here’s this weeks Abbey Girls decree: No one is to hang out with Tituba. I am THIS close to unfriending her so if she messages any of you, totally ignore her. Anyway, all of that bullshit aside I think I’ve figured out a way to get the eternally fat assed Osborne hag off my back. Meet me at the elms at sundown. SARAH, no excuses this time. Tell your ugly mother that your getting milk or something.
Oh yeah, John Proctor told me he saw an Indian yesterday.
The new figures officially extend a three-decade upward trend for the U.S. unenjoyment rate, which has been on the rise since October 1968.
Said Bureau of Statistics director Janet Penn-Warren: "Despite the innumerable home-entertainment, recreational-shopping and snack-treat options available to Americans; despite the continued expansion of the film, television, music and anti-depressant-drug industries; and despite the ever-growing amount of disposable income and leisure time available to the middle class, the fact remains that Americans are enjoying their lives less than at any point in our nation's history."
The federal report, which measures unenjoyment rates by examining a wide variety of hedonistic indicators, found that boredom, jaded detachment, and "a general, creepy sense of ennui" all made unprecedented gains in 1997, as did the National Vague-Sense-That-Everything-Is-Bullshit Index, which rose more than 35 points.
"We have not had a major war since 1975, our personal civil liberties are unrivaled in the world, and we as a nation have more material wealth than any other in history," Penn-Warren said. "But despite all this, the American people have never been more unhappy and dissatisfied than they are today."
The new unenjoyment figures met with calls for action on Capitol Hill.
"The pursuit of happiness is a founding principle of this nation," said House Immediate-Gratification Ways And Means Subcommittee member Sen. Christopher Dodd (D-CT). "If the American people are not feeling happy and entertained, it is our duty as their elected officials to help them, be it by working with top Hollywood producers to make our nation's computer-generated special effects more eye-popping, by developing even more thrilling games for our Nintendo and Sony PlayStation home-videogame systems, or by providing cable-television subsidies to those Americans who are currently forced to do without."
Dodd is co-sponsor of the Mandatory Comfort Act, a new personal-satisfaction bill that would guarantee comprehensive unenjoyment benefits to more than 200 million insufficiently diverted Americans. Among the benefits: movie-theater "gift-pak" subsidies, annual distribution of The NBA's Most Spectacular Dunks videotapes, and the addition of supplemental sugars to all foodstuffs.
While the proposal is said to enjoy strong support in Congress, some observers claim that such a measure would only make matters worse.
"We must ask ourselves why people who face less adversity than any previous generation are so unable to enjoy life," said Mary K. Dewitt, director of the Los Angeles-based National Enjoyment Institute. "As a society, we are free of almost every major impediment to happiness that has plagued mankind through the ages. Nonetheless, we sleepwalk through each day in a numb, emotionally deadened state of joyless catatonia. Why?"
According to Dewitt, the answer may lie in our society's steadily rising entertainment expectations. As the level of entertainment to which people become accustomed rises, so too, she contends, does the level of entertainment necessary to make people feel amused, a phenomenon that some have termed "enterflation."
"The easier our lives become, the harder it is for our entertainment to entertain us, creating a vicious enterflationary cycle that has produced the skyrocketing unenjoyment rates of the past 50 years," Dewitt said. "What was an incredibly thrilling experience to a 10-year-old in 1950—using a decoder ring, for example, to unscramble an Ovaltine commercial during the Tom Corbett Space-Cadet Radio Hour—would leave a 10-year-old of 1998 feeling profoundly empty inside."
Continued Dewitt: "Examples of this diminishing-returns curve abound. An actress with the body of Marilyn Monroe couldn't even get a job cocktail-waitressing in Hollywood today, let alone be enshrined for eternity as the sexiest woman who ever lived. The average cereal commercial on Saturday-morning TV today has as much sensory stimuli in 30 seconds as a 1967 acid-rock freakout had in five hours. It makes my head spin just thinking about it."
Dr. George Hammond of the American Dissatisfaction Research Group agreed with Dewitt. "If the American people want to retain what precious little is left of their ability to experience pleasure, we must curb enterflation now, through a combination of federally enforced per-capita fun limits and massive, broad-based reductions in U.S. recreation."
While such radical views are beginning to gain some acceptance, a vast majority of lawmakers and dissatisfied Americans still believe that the solution to the country's unenjoyment woes is to create more fun now.
"If people want fun now rather than possible increased life-enjoyment in the long run, then those of us in the entertainment industry who wish to stay competitive are simply going to have to give it to them," said David Foster Wallace, co-creator of the hit NBC sitcom Hey, Man! "It's a matter of supply and demand, and that's what America is all about."
“The common myth in American society is that the English language is now following a single path of change under the irrepressible, homogenizing influence of mass media. However, the truth is that language is far too resourceful and social structure far too complicated to follow any single path.” [n.a., pbs.org]
There is an endangered species that no one talks much about. There are but a mere 160 members left but, through wanton neglect and shortsightedness, they have been pushed to the fringes of their domain and may someday be gone for good. I am talking about the English irregular verb. They have been with us for centuries, but like the vestigial wings of a flightless bird, have felt their relevance diminish with each generation.
Words come and go all the time; English is always evolving. I’ll probably make up at least a few new terms before this article is done. However, I cannot help but wince when people use “bringed” and “breaked” without hesitation. This is not just an online phenomenon; I hear the same blunder when a journalist reads from prepared statements. What’s happening? Have we become so acclimated to our lackadaisical use (and misuse) of basic grammar, via looking at online type, that we’ve ceased to perceive their audible clunkyness?
It’s 2009. Children born after 1994 (the advent of the World Wide Web) have begun entering their formative years. Consider: this is a whole new generation of human beings who will have never known a world without the Net. And, with the Net, came unprecedented new terms and definitions for our English language:
- Google: to search for (even in real life)
- Spam: to send too much useless information
- Bandwidth: a metaphor for our attention span
Where once people were nourished in the form of books, high-minded journalism, and yes- complete sentences, the preeminent form of mass communication comes to us in a medium that breaks and reshapes the rules and proliferates at warp speed. The Net encourages mish-mashing amongst its users for two basic reasons: the true democratization of discourse, and the social pressure to fit in.
Beginning with Gutenberg and lasting for another 500 years, the printed word was factual and authoritative. It gave rise to popular revolution and government by the people. However, print (and subsequently radio and TV) were still roundly criticized as tools of the elite- after all, how many of us own our own metal press or geostationary satellite? Then there came the Internet. “The Net, as it developed, became imbued with hacker principles and characteristics. For example, the hacker maxim, ‘Information wants to be free,’ is mainly responsible for the oft-seen desire to share data with anyone who requests it as well as, to a lesser extent, the reluctance of many people to want to pay for information purveyed online.” [McFederies, pbs.org] “In the process of connecting everything to everything, computers elevate the power of the small player.” [Kelly, Harpers] So there you have it: Freedom of Speech, Freedom of the Press, Freedom of Assembly, and now Freedom of the Upload. We are closer now to giving everyone their say than ever before in human history.
Nonetheless, even with that freedom we find patterns to coexist and share ideas. In other words, we continue to seek a common culture via how we communicate online. “Language has always helped to signify who we are in society, sometimes serving as a basis for exclusion.” [Fought, pbs.org] Tragically, I believe, this new common culture is has taken off on a maddening, ADHD-stricken roller coaster that will only accelerate to the nth degree.
Indeed, the sheer speed and bulk of information coming our way forces us to think faster and filter more. Users who crave attention (or your dollars) continue to be BOLDER and to grab just one extra iota of your mental bandwidth. “In online dialogue, spelling and punctuation are loose and playful. On Web pages, in chat rooms, and across blogs, we see the rules of writing loosening as tone and style become more informal.” [Hale, pbs.org] The results have been atrocious. Typos become lauded and embraced (a classic was “teh” in place of “the”, and “1” instead of “!” especially in a major exclamation). Ignorance and outright stupidity of our language has become the new wit. People who criticize poor sentence structure are labeled “Grammar Nazis” (and not surprisingly, they’re proud to be labeled thus).
Irregular verbs continue to brave this toxic gumbo of slang, but the odds are stacked against them. Before Modern English, the language was dominated by irregulars. Now it’s entirely reflexive to attach “-ed” to a past tense verb (“I’ve been getting spammed”, not “I’ve been getting spum”). Exacerbating the predicament of irregulars is that they’ve been passed on in schools and books, but those are the realm of authoritativeness and snobbishness; of looking backwards against the tide.
Still, These long-lived conjugations have survived many changes to the language. Perhaps, because they thankfully sound correct to our ears, they will continue to live on, even if they’re only preferred by an elite class.
n.a.
pbs.org/speak/words/sezwho/
Kelly, Kevin. (1994, May 1). "Embrace it."
Harper’s Magazine, 20-21, 24-25.
McFedries, Paul. “World Wide Web of Words.”
pbs.org/speak/words/sezwho/cyberspace/
Hale, Constance. “Wired Words.”
pbs.org/speak/words/sezwho/wiredwords/
Fought, John G. “Gatekeeping.”
pbs.org/speak/speech/correct/gatekeeping/
BTW: here's where I got the HTML code for paragraph indents http://webdesign.about.com/od/faqsandhelp/f/bl_faq5_3a.htm
(I used the & nbsp; trick) Also, I'm using Firefox.